Sunday, November 3, 2013

White hair manifesto

     I've reached the age when I am entitled to my opinions, prejudices and declarations. Some think that only the young can have goals but as long as there are days, weeks or years ahead, there is plenty of time to grow. I grew up in an age where women were "taught their place" and there was a "don't ask, don't tell" policy when it came to women expressing an opinion that wasn't dictated by the norm, the husband or the father. The word "won't" was often stripped from our vocabulary. But, now, more than six decades into my life, I'm reclaiming the word with gusto.  
     This is my manifesto.

I won't stop checking out men's bodies.

     1. Just 'cause there's snow on the rooftop don't mean there ain't a fire in the hearth.
     2. My eyes may be old but my mental state is into the delights of each day...a girl's always gotta dream.

I won't watch shows that portray older women as silly, naive and in need of rescuing.

     1. I find it demeaning and insulting except when the role is played by Betty White.
     2. If she wasn't smart, she wouldn't be making big bucks at 90-plus...who gets the last laugh now?

I won't be nice to door-to-door salesmen regardless of their product.

     1. Religion is too important and personal to pitch it door-to-door like it is a super-duper cleanser..
     2. Young men trying to enter my home to clean the carpet are suspicious to say the least.

I won't shop stores that assume that I want pull-on polyester pants and butt-ugly shoes.

     1. I'm not going to give up my tennis shoes or high heels.
     2. God gave us a waist and if he wanted elastic around it, he would have provided a rubber band.

I won't listen to those who begin sentences with "back in your day."

     1. I haven't left all my days behind me.
     2. My days didn't end with the speaker's entry into the world.

I won't show a photo ID to receive chemo treatment if I ever need it.

     1.  It would take a nut case to impersonate a cancer patient so that they could fraudulently receive a chemical cocktail with horrendous side effects.
     2. If the doctor is dumb enough to think that someone is going to use identity theft  to get a chemical fix, then I want a new doctor.

I won't shop stores that give senior discounts only on certain days.

     1. The specified days may not work with my schedule.
     2. There is no reason why my age should be beneficial just one day a week. It took me 66 years to get here so that should count for something.

I won't deal with anyone who talks loudly and slowly to me.

     1. I am not deaf.
     2. My mental faculties haven't been left by the roadside but, if you speak slowly, by the end of the sentence, I may forget the beginning of it.

I won't suffer the company of self-proclaimed "self-made" successes.

     1. If they are so smart, why don't they know that without their parents, they would be nowhere - literally!
     2. Every single "success" story includes someone else who inspired, mentored, helped financially, or who emotionally supported the person on their way up the ladder to "success."

I won't be "politically correct."

     1. Almost every time someone uses the term "African-American", they are showing the bias that they are trying to cover up because rarely is a person's ancestry pertinent to a conversation, and to note it only for one group of people is singling that group out. 
     2. I don't and won't have Gay friends, African-American friends, Jewish friends...I just have friends, most of whom are different from me in some way which is what makes life interesting.

I won't wear under-wire push-up bras.

     1. They are uncomfortable and the results often look silly.
     2. When a mature woman goes from a 34-C to a 34-long bra, if she rolls 'em up to tuck into a push-up bra, if not careful, what's showing has creases that catch cookie crumbs. (Truth no one wants to share.)

I won't watch Fox News or MSNBC.

     1. Both tend to feed specific political ideologies by often ignoring inconvenient truths.
     2. No one individual or party is right every day or wrong every day. 

I won't "watch my language".

     1. Until someone can point to The Great Decider who decides what language is acceptable, I'll just decide it myself.
     2. Sometimes it is correct to call a spade a spade; but sometimes, it's just a damned old shovel.

I won't stop renewing my birth control prescription.

     1. It gives my doctor something to talk about at medical conventions and gives the pharmacist something to smile about.
     2. I get great joy whipping them out when I'm with young women who, although aghast, are afraid to ask why I have them or if I actually take them. (I don't but I always remove a few of them just so it looks like I am.)

I won't give up my right to add to or delete from my manifesto at a mere whim.

     1. I learn something new each day so will hold on to my options to change my opinions.
     2. It's my manifesto.

No comments:

Post a Comment